RANZIG @ DANZIG

George Texas Ranger Bush, the Protestant pope who solves crimes in his leisure time, was promoted from ‘born-again Christian’ to ‘reborn quasi-Christ’ on Thursday. He earned this promotion by turning 60. On his new level of ultra-righteousness, George is entitled to a whole new assortment of miracle tricks, like turning alcoholic intoxicants into water for papal ingestion or pretzels into ploughshares. Even before his apotheosis his ceremonial powers included infallibility in all things religious and political and the ability to inflict plagues on heathen tribes by simply wagging blurry photographs in front of fellow believers. But, as George stated in an interview to Larry King, most of all he appreciates the power to absolve himself of all sins of the past. Many happy returns to George, now that re-election is impossible!